The Unexpected Nightmare of Condemned Memories

Originally written, July 18

I saw a rundown house yesterday…Shattered windows-
Boarded, to keep intruders out.
There was yellow-brown grass,
Showcasing years of neglect.
&what was left of its trim…
Exposed peeling paint,
Vacating the wood once adhered to.

I noticed each brick &their showcased cracks;
Patched, with attempts to secure the walls.
Showed no lack of effort to keep the house standing…

But on the door- a piece of paper.
Barely legible, weathered.
"Condemned," it looked to have read.
Barely passable for what used to be a house;
A dwelling to be loved &cared for.

Lastly, I saw the fence; chain link.
Noticed its open gate, enticing me to explore.

Rusted hinges, creaking in the breeze that chilled me to the core.
A twinge of unease crept up my spine,

Reminding me that danger resides beyond the unknown…
So I fastened the latch-

Protecting future curious minds from discovering truth.

Fear overwhelming, I lowered my head &scurried away.

FI: Jerry Uelsmann, Untitled 1982

Audacity of the Emerging Torment

There she was, laying motionless- watching her ceiling fan spin; wondering, “Is this what life is supposed to feel like?”

Her days had become repetitive &she felt like she was slowly losing touch- with what she wasn’t sure. But something didn’t feel right. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she loathed her parents for her life; forcing her to run in the human race. Run until her heart gives out, her legs collapse &her mind… her mind, as it plots against her, opposing its survival instincts. She was breathing all night, hoping it would eventually become halfway decent sleep.

Creative Writing about those nights, you know the ones I mean.
FI: Designspiration

The Glory Days

Remember still the days
Where nature’s glory
Held our minds?
We ran like busy bees
A swarm of smiling faces.

Your itching curiosity
Enticed you to explore.
We hid our friends in memories,
Seeking freedom of our own.

We longed to grow up
Not knowing one day soon,
We missed the days:
With scrapped up knees
“&pretty please.”

I’ve been playing around with writing prompts, trying to improve my writing skills &I would love your feedback. Thanks for reading.

FI: Clickin Moms Blog

Living with GAD, in a Noisy One-bedroom Apartment

We all feel uneasy from time to time, but few occasional sufferers ask: what’s it like to live with Anxiety; well I’ll tell you, he’s a messy roommate. Oh GAD, don’t get me started – since you’re here, here’s living with GAD, in a nutshell:

He’s an awesome roommate, honest- just in small doses. He’s the sort of guy who just lingers around too long &just HAS to know what you’re doing. I mean actually, just because I turn out the light &throw on my old chainsaw &hockey mask, doesn’t mean he has to throw a tantrum; he can be a little tense at times.

Oh! He’s up all hours of the night too – I mean seriously – he never sleeps. Last night I caught him pacing the living room; scared the life out of me. For a guy who essentially never leaves the house, you’d think he’d be a little less high strung.

Sometimes he’ll even throw music on when he’s feeling wired-, which is cool, but I have to remind him here &there to turn it down. The bass just beats you in the chest.

Great guy, though, he’s always got my back… my front &pretty much every direction you can think of. Just uh…don’t let him sneak up on you, the man has got some cold hands, need I say more?

To be frank, living with GAD took some getting used to: his high energy, his nosiness, and his cold hands – oh, definitely his cold hands, bro – &yet, I can honestly say it’s never a dull moment.


Inspiration: Mansions – NF
It’s a song about a man who built a mansion in his mind to shelter himself from his emotions. So I thought to myself, what would GAD be like as a roommate.

Thanks so much for reading!


The Turn

It started with I do…
Or perhaps, started with you.
Across the room, I felt you there
Vigilantly I watched you sway
This game, simply child’s play
I needed you, &this affair…

Across the room I slowly crept
Outstretched – My hand you did accept.
Entranced, you held me in your gaze
Gradually, she’d gone; the crowd
No word uttered, not aloud –
You just set my heart ablaze.

Felt you there against my chest,
Sending my heart in pure distress.
I could feel you in my motion
They way you moved and spun –
Could feel the need, coming undone
Soon you’ll feel my pure devotion.

Hours passed, I knew my need
A growing mouth, I had to feed.
Come with me I’ll show you passion –
Torn shirt, slack pants, ripped dress,
I think it’s time I did confess
“I assure I’m not old fashion –
I want to trace your every line,
Feel our bodies intertwine.
Accept me now, as I am
I seek to please, to give you love
Say yes, I’ll show to what I speak of
For this is yours, my dear Madame.”

A well-placed kiss, a twisted moan,
“I smell you now, such sweet cologne
I’ll have you now my sweet dear.”
I’ve kissed you here, licked you there,
Your true need I did ensnare
Windows left open, for all to hear…

Hair pushed back, sheets entangled
Had thoughts of you, here strangled –
I shake my head, must concentrate,
I see you, your body, I caress,
Till I reach your sacred breasts
For it is you I’ll dominate.

I’ve reached a point of no return
What comes next, I forewarn –
Before I could complete the thought
A scratch and your nails is all it takes,
Trembling we begin our mistakes
It won, this feeling overwrought

Years passed, I have a son
How I dream of the midnight sun
No longer my sweet desire
A sinner, I have now become
A fresh need I do succumb
Of your presence I do tire.

I’ve waited longer than I wanted
By this idea, I was haunted.
The sight of you just laying here
Without so much as a breath inside
Laying still my dear bride
It’s time I make you disappear…

The Underhanded Perception of What You See

What am I to you?
I am the swing in my hips,
The curve of my lips,
The bounce in my –

Have I not earned my rights to be-
To believe that I am more than,
A means to your end.

Maybe I’ll wash your car,
Bath my breasts in sudsy water?

Prove to you that I…We are
Judged on the swing of our hips,
Never for what comes through our lips.
Seen as emotional; unstable… As women.

We are a lesser being,
Subject to objectification
For your gratification.

I will not stand for these words.
I’ll remove your delight-
In watching us on our knees,
Seeking only to please.

For now,
My eyes remain shut- tightly.
Refusing your embodiment of what I am,
Being told how to be me – we; us.



Midnight Cravings

Do you want me like the other boys do?

I can feel their greedy eyes, as they crawl upon my flesh,
Forever longing to defile the sanctity of my feelings

It’s as though my humanity left the room as I entered…
Can you see it? The colour of the room shifts; melts away, giving way to –
For no path was given, only taken and ravished like animals we are

I deny not the feelings that moisten my brow, but I hold back
Forever afraid that I will go too far, further than I can withstand.

But for you, there were no limits, no restraints except upon me.
Your smile stops my heart, weakens my knees, and hastens my breath.

Almost to say, you are but mine, as I need you

Do you want me?

Want is a feeling that I know now as emotion, for it rocks my soul
&Terrifies my heart.
Takes me to a place of temptation; where love doesn’t exist in this moment
Love abides only by the rules of the flesh; it too waits by the door

Do you want me?

 I want nothing more than to make my dreams real, to see you
In front of me as I did in my mind’s eye
Beautiful and everything I needed in that moment –
Free of normal conventions, free to exist as I am.
Independent of the notions of man, &bathed in the laws of feeling

I want nothing more than to rejoice in the screams, dance in the moans
&rest wrapped in love

Do you want me?

With all my heart, I do. I crave you.
However not as we are said to be, not in the flesh,
But in those moments where our souls intertwine…
Where we connect in love,
Where our touch is electric
Where my midnight cravings, my late night reverie –
Is a dream between you and me…

Header by : Anna Shukeylo