Cardiac Arrested Development

Originally written, July 16

I respect my resolve…

I’ve struggled through hideousness,
The anger that contorted who I was.
Enduring pain, lashing out, being-
A monster.
To say that I was a product,
A twisted result of conditioning-
Fear.
Taught that silence meant obedience,
I sat, laid &allowed my soul to be violated.
Detesting it; who I was beneath
The pain.

So I’m shouting, at the top of my lungs
Demanding my place in reality.
Unaccepting of the people in front of me-
Mirage.
Illusionary beliefs were crammed,
Into my innocence laden with propaganda.
Offensive to question their teaching,
Parents.
Our lifeline, our guidance, our protectors;
Passing on their insecurities, their peeves to pet,
Their desires not to be of this world;
Prejudice.
Learning to live as a shadow,
Following suit, never asking why,
Questions begot disobedience, begot-
Discipline.
Battle scars; some visible, most subdermal.
Proof of insubordination, the sign of perversion,
An unwanted quality of perfection.
Individuality.

Louder. Stronger. Daughter.
Getting off my knees; Begging-
No longer belongs in my life.
Permission? I need not asks,
This is my life &I’m not sorry.


FI: SOUICHI FURUSHO

Let's chat!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Mind Haven

Supporting safe therapy and positive mental health

MakeItUltra™

Psychology to Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

paintingwhiteroses19

it's not about followers it's about venting x

The Freedom Of

Drunk Conversations and My Boring Life

Chronic Malarkey

Chronicling the whims, fancies and patience of mental health...And possibly other things.

t-AR-t

Art by Terri Jones

@ bittersweet diary

Floating thoughts, A place where my beautifully weird thoughts floating around in my mind are posted.

lifesfinewhine

Beauty Blogger + Lifestyle Blogger+ Food Blogger+ Travel Blogger+ Recipe Blogger

LieWithMe

She wounded the paper with the ink of her words.

summerSHINES studio blog

Mental health writer, anti-stigma campaigner & Etsy illustrator; using words and vibrant colour to create SHINE from the shadows

Life after BPD

Life after Borderline Personality Disorder; making a life worth living through love, laughter, positivity and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close