Confession: Mental Health Intervention?

Ended my relationship a few days back; overwhelmed by rage. My (now) ex &a friend that I had been staying with for two weeks decided to stage an intervention. Not for drug abuse or alcoholism… but for mental health. If you follow me on twitter, you know that I suffer from a collection of mental…health…dilemmas. But I’m open &upfront about my feelings &as best as I can, my thought processes.

December 20 to January 3, I stayed with the friend, I didn’t trust myself to be alone. I should have admitted myself to a hospital, but I was scared. Never mentioned how I was feeling, thinking that I could do it on my own. Instead what happened was a NYE mistake; lost my relationship, but learned a valuable lesson: I need to do this for myself &on my own. No more co-dependency, no asking for a million opinions; making decision for myself to better myself.

The NYE mistake: I ditched a romantic evening &champagne for drugs and alcohol. I know, I know, it was an easily avoidable mistake, but I misjudged my progress; I thought that if I brought just enough wine for a glass &a half to a party, that I could do both. Unfortunately, I couldn’t squeeze out enough willpower- once the drugs came out. :/ So fast forward two days of me kicking myself only to be ambushed with an intervention.

The basic gist of their arguments were:

  • My living environment is poor
  • I’m making no effort to advance my life &start my career
  • I’m selfish and not thinking about how my actions affect others
  • I’m not making progress in my treatment

I think it was the shots at my progress that hurt the most: I barely drink anymore; it increases my impulsive/aggressive behaviour, I rarely see old friends; my major connection to drugs &alcohol, I’m taking my meds &I’m seeing a therapist for crying out loud!- how isn’t that progress?!  *Big Sigh*

Thanks for your support/reading, stay strong.

12 thoughts on “Confession: Mental Health Intervention?

  1. Hi,

    I fully understand where both sides to this post are coming from.

    Them: I guess they want the best for you, though I do not know them (I will have to defer to your judgement here). They are essentially the different perspective that is so detached from you because they aren’t strictly in your own mind, an yet invested in you all the same. Though, I would be very hesitant to call any action selfish.

    You: I know exactly how it feels to struggle to do as much as you have done, as you said, you have progressed, taken action against a former life, still stuck in both worlds, and still trying. And, I know how impatient friends who care, can be. And I know about relapsing, even just a little, and seeing how that is received by those who do care.

    I relapsed recently. I tend to go backwards a lot it would seem.

    I just want to remind you that you are strong, for dabbling again, but still coming up and recognizing the things you are doing as things you want, and sticking to that.

    Gosh, I don’t know if I said anything remotely helpful. Here is a pile of support for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. PS – whoever did the art, it’s amazing

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Yeah…I’m trying to see things from their perspective, I’m just feeling disrespected bc of their negative &dismissive approach.

      I also feel a little less lonely knowing- I’m human, &mistakes happen; thank you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can understand that, definitely. I went through something similar last week actually. In some ways, the approach can set you back even though intentions were good. So, I understand.

        I am glad you feel a little less lonely, because they certainly do, and you definitely are. Good job for getting to where you are right now.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Shrewd observation-you hit the nail on the head. I did in fact get set back, I was saving that story for tonight/today when I write another poetic confession. More than likely post the actual result of what my “friends” had done.

        I’m trying with (great) difficulty trying to stay positive. Seeing my therapist always puts me in a good mood for a couple of days. I’m trying excruciatingly hard to maintain that positivity on my own..but I’d like to hope I’m getting there. 🤞🏾😼

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I don’t know why I can’t reply to your reply as I did before…odd…

        Shrewd it may be, because it comes off in your words, but also because I have also been “set back.” I’m not sure if it registers as a set back from my point of view, but I know it is considered one. I await your words with patience then.

        I have never understood positivity. It’s complicated; I tend to register things as they are, no positive or negative surrounded by it. I do know what others consider to be positive or negative, but I have difficulty relating these things to me. I am more of a “what can you do about it” person. If that makes sense. Instinctually, I know what my mind considers to be bad and good, so I know that the feelings I have in relation to my mental illness are bad. And I know how to feel good. At least hah.
        Anyway…what I was trying to get at, is that you may be practicing positivity more than you are aware of it. And, if we take positive as steps in the direction you want to be headed, I think you are doing well because you struggle to continue in that direction purely because you want it, in spite of everything.

        I don’t know you, but I see your words, and I see your effort, I hope that you can see it too, if not now, then one day.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I don’t ask questions, lol. I was confused at first, but continued hesitantly. haha.

        Set backs are in the eye of the beholder, I suppose. My friends saw New Years as a catastrophe, while I saw it as: well it sucked, but the time between is growing. I saw that as a victory, though the drugs were a loss. I planned everything out to make sure I could do it, but I’m human.

        That’s a smart way to look at it- thank you. You’re so right about that, I need to watch my progress. I think it’s bc I’m prone to comparing myself to others.

        Thanks for your positivity, I hope you’re well. 🙂

        Like

      5. I your confusion was in relation to my being unable to reply in the same way comment, it was purely a logistical thing on the site. I do apolgise.

        I think you already know that you should focus on yourself rather than comparing; easier said than done of course. I suppose, if you have to compare, compare to the yesterday version of yourself? Again, easier said.
        I do hope it gets better for you.

        Anytime. If I can support, I will. I am..okay I suppose. Still around and trying.

        Like

      6. haha, that’s okay. I realized the same thing happened to me when I went to reply to your comment.

        I’m working on it, slow &steady- in fact, my recent start of a DBT workbook is going to be my leg up; that is until I can go to a real group therapy class.

        Thank you, I hope the same for you. I know you’re “still around,” but I hope you don’t feeling like you’re just existing. I glad to hearing that you’re trying, don’t give up.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. I will say that I am just existing but trying to be alive.
        DBT workbook huh? I didn’t realise you cold get those

        Like

  2. Keep fighting mental health issues are not a joke.

    Like

    1. Thanks for your support.

      Like

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