“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.” ― Ned Vizzini,
I’m living my life in the constant ebb and flow of human beings; each one looking for their purpose &yet, all I desire is sleep. Depression is a funny thing – total coincidence, I promise – it strips you of your humanity. It reduces you to a learned list of neurologically and socially acceptable actions – a robot of sorts – and robs you of your voice, after all, what could I have to say that you’d actually want to hear? Then, once you’ve been reduced to nothing more than an empty shell of your former self: it starts to play. It waits until you can’t feel anything anymore; until you can’t tell where you end &the depression begins. It fills you with a sadness that clouds the mind, while concurrently disconnecting your heart from the ability to actually feel. You know how you’re supposed to act, so you do it. You know what you’re supposed to say, so you say it. You behave just like a regular ole’ meat-bot, following a succession of 0’s and 1’s.
Thank for reading &keep on fighting.