This is the Painful Perspective a Doleful Mind

It’s dark, dirty – and I don’t know how I got here – but I’m standing at the bottom of a deep hole &it’s raining. The water is rising slowly around me as I stand here, waist deep in the falling rain. I’m too tired to try to escape; too weak to scream for help- and again, as it’s been since I first awoke in my prison – The water level is rising painfully high, forcing me to bounce on my toes to keep my head above water. Until suddenly, the rain stopped &there was no more parade of water droplets, threatening to drown me.

It takes several hours for the water level to drop low enough for me to sink to the ground in exhaustion. My body, though cold, dirty and shivering has survived another night; or day, at this point, no part of me is certain. Starved for time spent unconscious, my eyelids begin to feel heavy, while my shivers start to rock me to sleep; my mind begins to wander back to the unanswered questions: how long I’ve been down here &when will I be free. Despite my fatigue, my mind begins to stray back to my slowly withering body &how each night – or day – my hope is washed away with the rain. Finally, ready to sleep again, my eyes squeezed ever so softly while I simultaneously started to snore. I knew this wasn’t to be a restful repose, as the rain never holds off for more than a few hours. So I sleep while I can.

One hour, two, three; I don’t know how long I slept until the rain began again. I remembered only parts of my temporary reprieve as I sprang awake in terror. It had begun to shower &where I sat at the bottom of this narrow hole, there was water pooling around me; bringing on a sudden wave of fear that shook me once more as those questions circled my mind. As the water level begins to rise once more, there you’ll find me sitting alone: weak, cold and shivering; hoping that one day, I’ll be free.


Thank you for reading; I’ve been feeling monumentally overwhelmed by my emotions &I feel like I am starting to sink lower in my mind. These are the idle rambling of a mind, slowly losing its will to fight back

***

I’m still improving my writing skills &my ability to accurately describe things in a linear fashion; I as a whole have the greatest difficulties with forming a single thought and THEN effectively conveying those thoughts into text. Often times I write if / when, I am overcome by some kind of strong emotion, which basically means that I spend a lot of time proofreading – too much time wasted trying to form a sentence without the need for dashes – so my writing often takes on a more disjointed nature &I spend a lot of time learning to use punctuation to my advantage. If you have any pointers or critiques, I’m interested to hear them.


Header: Christian Sampson

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