I don’t know if it college, that call us, in to a state of mind, where… love is physical.
As kids, we knew love as candy and ice cream, or simply just a hug.
But college as hormones run rampant, we lose sight of love &move forward into physical, where sex is love, or sex is the only way to show love, where love… is alcohol induced.
So I ask, when did the line blur?
I know alcohol takes us, into a frame of mind where, it is easy to express our feelings. Whether love, hate, anger or happiness – these are amplified by alcohol
Now I can say I’m guilty, guilty of waiting until some are drinking, to ask the questions that were really on my mind.
But you see, when I was sober, this only caused my heart to think, that my love, wasn’t real love, simply alcohol induced.
This makes your mind race, makes your mind go crazy wondering if your love, is true love, or real love, or just, the result of alcohol + human.
So I had to make a choice, to stop thinking that my love, was, not love and stop asking my questions when I was drinking.
To ask the scary questions when we were sober, because I really wanted my love, to be our love
So I asked my questions despite all my reservations, and you, said nothing. Nothing I wanted to hear; deflected and diverted all answers.
I started thinking, that if he doesn’t love me while he’s sober, then why love me at all.
But you see the problem was never that he didn’t love me, the problem was that his love was, alcohol induced.
Now I’m not talking physical love, I’m talking he can’t say love, unless its, – fake love you have for an object or hockey team; the way that I can.
But on days where he was drinking; he would tell me, everything I wanted to hear. Not because I wanted to hear it, but because it was the only time he could say it.
For some love is alcohol induced because that gives them, all the, courage, to open up their heart
For some love comes easy, loving everything, every one they come in contact with, for others it isn’t easy; holding onto love so they wouldn’t get hurt.
For these people, love is alcohol induced, not because they want to, just because they have to.
So I ask, take that leap with me, jump in heart first, but please make sure, it isn’t because, its alcohol induced.